{"id":148773,"date":"2016-03-18T10:24:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-18T10:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.um.edu.mo\/sem-categoria\/2016\/03\/37754-pt_pt\/"},"modified":"2020-11-26T20:44:04","modified_gmt":"2020-11-26T12:44:04","slug":"37754","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.um.edu.mo\/pt-pt\/news-and-press-releases\/campus-news\/detail\/37754\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201c Melhor M\u00e2e \u201cTam Mei Leng"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Source: <a style=\"font-style: italic;\" href=\"http:\/\/e-myum.co.umac.mo\/tellusyourstory_mar2016-2\/?lang=en\">My UM<\/a><\/p><p>I knew of Dr Tam Mei Leng when I was still an undergraduate\nstudent at UM. I never attended her classes, but from what I kept hearing from\nthose who did, students loved her and felt very close to her. Those were hectic\ndays for Tam, because in addition to her heavy workload at the university, she\nalso had a young daughter to take care of. A lover of classical Chinese opera,\nTam likens life to a play, in which she has to constantly switch between six\ndifferent roles.<\/p>\n\n<p>A Battle of Wits and Strength and a Lesson in Gratitude<\/p>\n\n<p>Dr Tam is an assistant professor in the Department of Chinese\nLanguage and Literature. She has a family that is the envy of many, with a\nloving husband who also works in higher education and two children who never fail\nto surprise her on her birthdays. Tam\u2019s daughter, Victoria, graduated from\nthe University of Queensland in 2014, and is now working as a pharmacist in\nAustralia. Her younger son, Douglas, is studying electromechanical engineering\nat the University of Melbourne. Asked what parenting experience she wanted to\nshare with other parents, she said, \u2018Raising children is both a battle of wits\nand strength, and a lesson in gratitude. First, you must have the strength to\nplay with them even when you feel exhausted after a day\u2019s work.\nSecond, you need to adopt a policy of non-interference and avoid dealing with problems\nhead-on. This is especially important when you have adolescent children. You\nneed to use your wits to solve problems. Third, you need to cultivate a heart\nof gratitude. I often offer my thanks to the Buddha that my children have never\ngone astray. It\u2019s a blessing and no blessing should be taken for granted.\u2019<\/p>\n\n<p>As a teenager, Victoria went to a girls\u2019\nsecondary school and for a time became very close with another girl. Open-minded\nbut worried about her husband\u2019s reaction, Tam brought up the\nsubject with feigned nonchalance while chatting with her daughter. She told\nVictoria, \u2018It does not matter who you choose in the end; the most important\nthing is that you choose someone who truly loves you.\u2019 It\nturned out Tam needn\u2019t have worried, for Victoria\nintroduced her current boyfriend to her mother during Tam\u2019s visit\nto Australia last year. Ever the witty mother, Tam answered her daughter \u2019s\nquestion about what she thought of the boyfriend with great tact. \u2018Even\nif you don\u2019t like the boyfriend, you can\u2019t say\nso directly,\u2019 she explained. \u2018You\nalso need to be careful with your facial expression, because even a passing\nlook or frown might give you away and hurt her feelings.\u2019 If you\nare also a parent and despair over your apparent lack of Tam\u2019s\nparenting talent, take heart! Tam says she is lucky to have some friends who\ncould teach her how to be a good mother. \u2018I once had a student, who has\nnow become a good friend of mine. I always turn to him for parenting tips,\u2019\nshe said.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2018If you are too tired to walk, hop on mommy\u2019s back.\u2019<\/p>\n\n<p>The most difficult time for Tam was when she had to teach,\nstudy for a PhD degree, and take care of her young son at the same time. \u2018My\nson was just several years old. He was very clingy, and wouldn\u2019t sleep\nwithout me,\u2019 she said. At the time Tam had to complete a 190,000-word dissertation\non a tight schedule, so she worked every night with her son falling asleep on\nher lap. Several years later, while tagging along with Tam and her students on a\nfield trip on a hill, the seven-year -old child grew tired and refused to walk\nany further. Despite her chronic knee pain from standing for long periods of\ntime as a lecturer , Tam said to her son, \u2018If you are too tired to walk,\nhop on mommy\u2019s back.\u2019<\/p>\n\n<p>Switching Between Six Roles Daily<\/p>\n\n<p>Being a full-time mother is not easy, but juggling a career and\na family is even harder. Every day Tam has to switch between six different\nroles: herself, daughter, mother, wife, teacher, and employee. In the past, she\nwasn\u2019 t very good at handling work-related stress, so sometimes\nshe returned home with a sour face without even realising it. Her husband\nnoticed this and gently reminded her that bringing negative emotions back home\nwould have a bad effect on the children. So from then on Tam always made a\npoint of putting on a happy face when she came home. \u2018I now\nremind myself to shut down work stress before entering home, because home\nshould be a place where everyone can relax and feel loved,\u2019 she\nsaid.<\/p>\n\n<p>Not only does Tam deserve a Best Mother Award, she should\nalso receive a Best Wife Award, because in addition to all her other\ncommitments, she does all the= housework. \u2018My husband left his family in\nCanada and came to Macao because of me. This alone should make me forever grateful,\nso I want to take good care of him and pamper him a little,\u2019 she\nsaid.<\/p>\n\n<p>If I Had to Do It All Over Again<\/p>\n\n<p>Tam is a big fan of classical Chinese opera. But I was\nsurprised by her answer when I asked her which character from classical Chinese\nopera she thought resembled her the most. She said jokingly, \u2018A\nwannabe scholar.\u2019 She then explained without my further prompting: \u2018I\u2019ve\nbeen teaching for 25 years, but still I feel I haven\u2019t\nreached the standards I set for myself. Sometimes I envy my husband, because he\ncan focus on his career without any distraction.\u2019 It\nturns out of the six roles Tam plays on a daily basis, the role of \u2018self\u2019\nis her most neglected one. \u2018If I had to do it all over again, I\nwould choose not to get married, so I could have more time to focus on myself\nand my dreams,\u2019 she said. Before the end of our interview, I couldn\u2019t\nhelp asking: \u2018Do you mean it? If you could do it all over again, would\nyou really rather choose a solitary path?\u2019 She replied, \u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p><p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Source: My UMI knew of Dr Tam Mei Leng when I was still an undergraduate student at UM. I never attended her classes, but from what I kept hearing from&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":123752,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-148773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-news"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>\u201c Melhor M\u00e2e \u201cTam Mei Leng | Universidade de Macau<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Universidade de Macau: Uma universidade abrangente p\u00fablica de n\u00edvel internacional fundada em 1981\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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