{"id":148538,"date":"2018-03-20T17:29:00","date_gmt":"2018-03-20T17:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.um.edu.mo\/sem-categoria\/2018\/03\/44598-pt_pt\/"},"modified":"2020-11-26T20:23:46","modified_gmt":"2020-11-26T12:23:46","slug":"44598","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.um.edu.mo\/pt-pt\/news-and-press-releases\/campus-news\/detail\/44598\/","title":{"rendered":"Abuso Verbal: J\u00e1 Teve Alguma Destas Experi\u00eancias?"},"content":{"rendered":"Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/e-myum.co.umac.mo\/feature_mar2018\/?lang=en\">My UM<\/a><div><br\/><\/div><div><p>Words are powerful. Encouraging words can go a long way towards\nhelping someone achieve his full potential, while hurtful words can leave people\ntraumatised for life. How can we be more careful about what we say in a conversation?<br style=\"mso-special-character: line-break;\"\/>\n<br style=\"mso-special-character: line-break;\"\/>\n<b><\/b><\/p>\n\n<p><b>Learn to Control Your<\/b><b> <\/b><b>Emotions<\/b><b><br\/>\n<\/b>We have all been at the receiving end of verbal attacks in our\nlives. To Dr Liang Qingning, a resident fellow of Ma Man Kei and Lo Pak Sam\nCollege, the most hurtful words are those that deny his contribution to a\nproject when he has done his best. A few years ago, Dr Liang and his friends\nco-organised a grand charity gala dinner on a tight schedule. They encountered many\nunexpected difficulties in the process, but the event was a great success and the\nparticipants enjoyed it very much. However, when the organisers were celebrating\nafter the event, a donor friend who did not participate in the preparation\nsaid: \u2018I don\u2019t think you put your heart and soul into the event, and I\npersonally found many flaws in the arrangement. This left Dr Liang feeling very\nupset.<\/p><p>\n\n\u2018At that time, I thought my friend was being picky and wanted to\ndeny our contributions,\u2019 says Dr Liang. Although unhappy about what he heard, Dr Liang did not confront his friend\nright away. He calmed himself first, and later found an opportunity to ask his\nfriend about the things he thought the organisers could have done better. Dr\nLiang then told the friend about the details of the various arrangements and\nthe reasons for those arrangements. \u2018After I explained everything, he began to\nshow appreciation of our work and apologized for what he said,\u2019 says Dr Liang.\nFrom this incident, Dr Liang learned the importance of emotional intelligence. He\nrealised that in order to clear up a misunderstanding, one must refrain from knee-jerk reactions, and learn to think positively and\ninitiate timely and effective communication with the other person. Dr Liang likes to share tips for effective\ncommunication with his students. \u2018Our residential college is like a second home\nfor our students. Here, students from different backgrounds live under the same\nroof,\u2019 says Dr Liang, \u2018So they must learn how to be respectful and understanding\nwhen communicating with each other.\u2019<br style=\"mso-special-character: line-break;\"\/>\n<br style=\"mso-special-character: line-break;\"\/>\n<b><\/b><\/p>\n\n<p><b>Words Can Hurt<\/b><b><br\/>\n<\/b>\u2018It\u2019s none of your business!\u2019 It has been several years after the\nunpleasant exchange happened. But Fortuno Hong, a first-year student from the Faculty of Education, still feels\nstung by his friend\u2019s words.<br\/>\nHe never thought a close friend of his would say that to him. As he recalls, on\nthe day of the incident, this friend lay his head on the desk and was unusually\nquiet. \u2018He was not his usual self, as if he was worried about something,\u2019 says\nHong. \u2018Although he is a quiet person, he likes to share his feelings with me. I\nthought we were close friends.\u2019 So he approached his friend and asked: \u2018What\u2019s\nwrong?\u2019 \u2018It\u2019s none of your business!\u2019 his friend huffed. Feeling embarrassed at\nbeing shouted at in front of other students, Hong turned red and said:\n\u2018Alright\u2019 and then left.<\/p><p>\n\nThe next day, Hong went to find his friend. Neither of them\nbrought up the incident. They both pretended it never happened. But Hong\nactually felt awful after the incident and couldn\u2019t even concentrate on his\nhomework. He said at that time he was still a high school student and was\nprobably more sensitive than the average boy. Hong never again asked the friend\nwhat happened to put him in such a foul mood that day. Later he found out from\nothers that his friend was scolded by a teacher because of his homework. Luckily, this incident did not break their friendship and they remain friends\nto this day. But sometimes Hong feels the urge to ask this friend: \u2018Do you know\nwhat you said that day hurt my feelings?\u2019<br style=\"mso-special-character: line-break;\"\/>\n<br style=\"mso-special-character: line-break;\"\/>\n<b><\/b><\/p>\n\n<p><b>Break the Vicious Cycle<\/b><b><br\/>\n<\/b>Li De, associate dean of the Faculty of Social Sciences and a\nprofessor from the Department of Sociology, says that the prevalence of verbal\nabuse has its roots in the family environments in the Chinese communities. \u2018Many Chinese parents today still adopt an\nauthoritarian parenting style. For example, they would scold their children\nwhen they don\u2019t behave,\u2019 says Prof Li. \u2018Sometimes they use threat (\u2018No food until\nafter you do what I tell you to\u2019) or ridicule (\u2018Stop acting so stupid!\u2019),\nwithout regard for their children\u2019s feelings.\u2019 Prof Li adds that this kind of\nparenting style teaches children to inflict verbal abuse by osmosis, because it\nmakes them think it is alright to get what they what by using verbal abuse or\nto entertain themselves by ridiculing others. In other words, children who were\nonce the victims of verbal abuse are likely to become perpetrators when they grow up, and many of\nthem will have difficulty getting along with others. Prof Li have also seen\nsome students hurling insults at each other childishly simply because their\nfeelings were hurt. In order to break this vicious cycle, Prof Li suggests that\nwe should be more aware of the destructive nature of words that are used to\nscold, intimidate, and ridicule. This is particularly important for parents, as\nhurtful words can cause immeasurable damage to children. He adds that parents\nshould be more careful about what they say and how they act in front of\nchildren. Finally, Prof Li suggests that students who have been verbally abused\nshould take general education courses in family relations, gender relations, and\nmental health, in order to heal their wounds.<\/p><br\/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Source: My UMWords are powerful. Encouraging words can go a long way towards helping someone achieve his full potential, while hurtful words can leave people traumatised for life. How can&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":130542,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-148538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-news"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Abuso Verbal: J\u00e1 Teve Alguma Destas Experi\u00eancias? | Universidade de Macau<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Universidade de Macau: Uma universidade abrangente p\u00fablica de n\u00edvel internacional fundada em 1981\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.um.edu.mo\/pt-pt\/news-and-press-releases\/campus-news\/detail\/44598\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_PT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Abuso Verbal: J\u00e1 Teve Alguma Destas Experi\u00eancias? 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